Stop Selling Me Things!

I hate being sold things.

Every time I walk into a music store and hear “Kevin, you need to try this guitar. It’s exactly what you need, you’ll love it”, I die a little inside. I can’t stand being told what I will or won’t like. Can it fly? Tell jokes? Does it have a vagina on it? No? Then don’t tell me I’ll love it.

I recently “liked” a band on Facebook. I won’t be mean and say who it is, let’s just say they’re more famous than I am. Less than a day later I start seeing pictures of them in my newsfeed “rocking out with So-and-So headphones” and “chilling with the lads from Such-and-Such energy drink company”. I like a few of their songs, but not enough to let them block up my facebook with in-stream product placements.

I understand why bands do that. Everyone wants to drive Ferrari’s and own private jets, but music just doesn’t pay like that anymore. In the 70’s perhaps, but not the 2010’s. Taylor Swift made $45 million in 2011 but to get that kind of money she has to “partner” with a perfume company, let Walmart slap her name on jeans, that kind of thing (for the record, she also had a few big-ish acting roles).

But if I like your band, then I like your band. I kinda don’t want feel like you’re using me to squeeze a few ad dollars out of whoever will give you money. That just might annoy me to the point where I think of you in a negative way. Case in point: The Who.

The Who were (are?) a great band, with great songs. But every time I hear any of their tunes now all I can think about is that stupid cop show where the guy wears the glasses and says cheesy one-liners. I hate that show. And now by default I associate The Who with something that I hate.

Led Zeppelin famously won’t allow their music to be used in ads and stuff, which means they won’t annoy me for no reason anytime soon. I’m sure they’d make a fortune by letting some company use their music in commercials for dick pills or something, but then again they don’t need the money. Unlike our friends in the band I liked on Facebook the other day.

Stop selling me things!

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About Kevin Williams

Frontman of The Complete/Occasional Actor/Newfoundlander.

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